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Thomas Bender Therapy

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  • Paonia, CO 81428
  • 505-681-1140

    Welcome, I'm glad you're here.

    Everyone needs an ally at some point in life. Whether you're navigating a personal struggle or a relationship in distress, I'm here to help you reconnect, heal, and grow into the fullest version of yourself.

    I offer individual and couples counseling and coaching with both in-person and virtual options available.

    Since becoming a licensed mental health counselor in 1996, I’ve worked with individuals and couples to heal trauma, deepen self-awareness, and strengthen relationships. My approach blends present-centered therapy, trauma-informed care, Relational Life Therapy, EMDR, and nearly three decades of experience — always tailored to meet you exactly where you are.

    Couples Therapy, Couples Coaching, and Intensives

    Same fight, different day? Let's change that! I provide a safe venue for you and your partner to explore your relational patterns and develop new ones, improve your repair skills, and develop ways to connect that lead to relational resilience.

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    Counseling for Individuals

    People seek therapy for many reasons — depression, anxiety, addiction, relationship struggles, unresolved trauma, or simply a desire for more meaning and happiness. Individual counseling offers a space to step out of isolation, feel truly seen and heard, and begin moving toward a life of greater clarity, connection, and fulfillment.

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    Relationship Coaching for Men

    I’ve been leading and participating in men’s groups for over 30 years. While I work with both men and women — individually and as couples — helping men grow into their higher, relational selves is one of my deepest callings.

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    Professional Counseling Services for Colorado's Western Slope, Denver County, and Beyond.

    Client Testimonials

    "I began working with Tom when I was dealing with very intense family and personal relationship issues. He helped me navigate through those and has been a "lifeline" for me since. I reach out for regular check-ins, and also more urgently when I find life's events particularly challenging. Tom's always there to help me find the larger perspectives that are often hard to see when deeply immersed. I count on Tom to help me see areas I can grow as a human, with compassion and respect for who I am."

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    Danika

    "Me and my partner’s experience with Tom has been nothing short of transformative. From the moment we met him two years ago, we felt a sense of warmth, compassion, and genuine care that set the tone for our therapeutic journey.

    What truly sets Tom apart is his commitment to providing us with practical strategies and tools to improve our communication. Tom doesn’t just listen he actively guides us through exercises and discussions that help us better understand each other. The techniques he has introduced us to are insightful and effective, and we see noticeable improvements in our ability to express ourselves and truly listen to one another."

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    Brigid

    "We came to Tom when we were having significant communication issues that were beginning to impact our relationship and lead us to negative and false assumptions. Tom helped us understand ourselves and the patterns and histories we bring into our relationship. We gained insights and tools to communicate more effectively, speak our minds in a non-judgemental way, and support each other."

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    Scott and Sofia

    "Working with Tom has been transformative for our relationship. We always leave feeling like we have new tools to apply to our situation and a better understanding of ourselves within our relationship. Tom has helped us improve our communication skills and we have gained a deeper understanding of each other. He is patient and listens with empathy, and has constructive feedback while easily getting to the root of the issues."

    JL

    J. and L.

    "As a couples therapist, I also go to couples therapy. Our therapist is Tom and we are so pleased with his guidance and support. He has enabled my wife and I to have more connection and harmony. We trust him and think he's a cool dude as well. He has patience, awareness, and insight that has been helpful for us. I've recommended and referred many friends and family to him."

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    Jason

    "Tom has helped me and my husband immensely. He is very trauma informed and has been able to help us understand where our behavior comes from; therefore we have been able to make effective changes in our relationship. He is patient, compassionate and validating to us both. He gives us such helpful feedback and tools to change our patterns from growing up in toxic, dysfunctional households to stop repeating the old patterns and truly have a happy marriage. It was difficult to find a knowledgeable and wise trauma informed professional. I am so grateful to have Tom and would highly recommend him for individual and couples sessions."

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    Anonymous

    "Working with Tom has been a lifeline for me. When I faced a tragic death in my family, I couldn't be more grateful to have had a preexisting relationship with him as my counselor. He meets me where I'm at, has helped me get in touch with my feelings, and elevates my work towards embracing myself as I am. I deeply appreciate the support I get from Tom both in his office and in the form of the little imaginary Tom that sits on my shoulder when I'm in a crux moment, giving me pointers on how to move through it. Not only is he an excellent, grounded counselor, but he's generally a delight to know."

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    Alyssa

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